1. Introduction

Misogyny which refers to women hatred is something desirable for East Asia country to propagate as it is an important maintenance of patriarchy society. The reason for why East Asia women never realize the importance and effectivity of it is because women are also susceptible to misogyny. Misogyny is not a pathology reserved only for men. As a result of this, fighting with misogyny is difficult. However, women’s misogyny is manifested as self-hate which certainly contains logical loopholes since human nature shaped us into people who knows how to protect ourselves and comfort ourselves, so amid such self-hatred, self-love is guaranteed as well. The awakening of women’s self-love makes more women to realize the oppressions that were put on by East Asia societies. As a result of the realization, this paper started by exposing the fact that women are also susceptible to misogyny, which is a fact that can be manifested through reading and examining East Asia female writers’ literature works. Then, to find the possible solution of misogyny, this paper analyzes the possible reason for why misogyny is so entrenching. The most decisive factor in influencing the formation of children’s ideology is family. And why misogyny is so long standing is that the parents’ misogyny transmitted to their daughter. As we understand the source of misogyny, it is possible for us to search further for the solutions of it. Through giving up the role of “mother” and “daughter”, misogyny can be challenged.

2. Universality of Misogyny

Misogyny in Chinese refers to a disease. Not only is it an academic term, but a pathology term. The correctness of the translation makes me sign. Needless to doubt, woman hatred is a disease, but what significant is the fact that this disease exists almost in everybody. Under the system of the gender binary, misogyny spread throughout the system. Just like gravity, actions and utterances with misogynistic connotations are hardly noticeable since we get so used to it. Under this system, both men and women can be infected by misogyny. (Ueno, 2010, p.1) But the forms of misogyny are not symmetrical between men and women. Obviously, misogynistic men can be described as men that scorn women, but misogynistic women are women that scorn others of the same sex. Again, have a man never been glad that he wasn't born a woman? Has a woman never complained about her loss because of her gender? The fact that women are also susceptible to misogyny can be used to explain the seamy side of women's desire. We can understand for example why women antagonize each other because of men; why women say their foes are women; why mother-daughter relationships are so complex and roundabout. I mentioned that the complexity of mother-daughter and father-daughter relationships is the manifestation of misogyny, but it's not just that. In East Asian countries mother-daughter and father-daughter relationships are the number one vehicle through which misogyny spreads and perpetrates. This essay is about how East Asian women become misogynistic by fulfilling the role of a daughter. What are the impacts mother and father place on daughter that led them to hatred but imitate at the same time?

3. Men’s Misogyny

Starting with comparing men’s misogyny and women’s misogyny is important for developing future arguments. I mentioned above that misogyny for men is not only hating women, but everything feminine. However, what contradictory is that these men who hate women often love women the most. Gender studies’ scholar Ueno wrote in her book Misogyny that what misogynistic men hate is having to rely on women every time to satisfy their desires. Agreeing with this point, I want to further combine her opinion with Sedgwick’s idea mentioned in his book Between Men that where the pure sexism manifest is that while men love women’s body to brings them pleasure, they hate women latently since women are inferior creature, and must rely on such inferior creatures to satisfy themselves makes them feel disgraceful. Men love the mother-like kind of woman who is quiet, reflective but sexy, and acceptive to their male gaze, which language and behavior plays a huge role in deciding if a woman is desirable to man who is infected by misogyny. Certain behaviors are inscribed with the mark of “for men only” such as smoking and tattooing, so women who smoke or have tattoo are not within the range of target for men. One might suspect if this point is contradictory with what I have said. Since femininity is inferior for man, shouldn't they then to pursue women who contain certain “for men only” qualities? The answer is no. Then another point can be reached in here, which is that men hate women who contain masculine traits even more since they are the ones who can threat the status of men. Relying on women to manifest they male’s characteristic which is the ability to penetrate women, and satisfy their sexual desire, men are fragile creatures.

4. Women’s Misogyny and Characters Under Misogynistic Female Writer

Compared to men, women’s misogyny is completer and more ruthless. It doesn’t sound right as how can women be merciless to people of their same sex? In fact, women can experience misogyny without experiencing it as self-loathing by making themselves the exception among women, and "otherizing" women who own specific characteristics. To this end, there are two strategies, one is to become privileged elite women, treated by men as "honorary men", that is, to be superior to women so that they deserve to be consider as women who surpass the category of woman. They usually remind their special by saying “I am not the woman that you know” with proud. The second strategy is used by women who don’t think they are sexually attracted to men at all, so they withdraw from the category of women. For women who think themselves are ugly and are not wanted by men, they are in the “safe zone” which protects them from being hurt by misogyny. In Japanese female writer Mariko Hayashi's novels, most of the female characters are beautiful and charismatic, which means these female characters are in the category of woman. This writer is very successful in describing the abasement of women who use their “female character as weapons”. In her book The Unhappy Fruit, the married heroine betrayed her husband because she can't gain passion and happiness from their life and has an affair with a wealthy young man who she eventually remarried with. After marriage, she found the young man's character is very childish and selfish. The bitterness of remarriage life left her with endless remorse and despondency. The novel is excellent at describing the desolation and loneliness of women after “using women's weapons” as an approach to gain dispensable happiness to themselves. In Japanese fiction, these beautiful female characters, who are self-inflicted by their own mischievous and factious actions are often designed by female writers. Most female characters written by misogynistic male writers are stupid women desperate for love, and these female characters don’t have an as tragic end as the female characters designed by female writers. What this means is that neither self-torture nor self-criticism is behind the gaze of East Asia female writers. This is because self-criticism inevitably carries with it a sense of bitterness and self-pity that is so thin in the writer that only malice can be felt. What I feel is that these writers think they are one of two types of exceptions so that they feel safe and natural when they’re criticizing. I am bitterly disappointed by the fact that men may still have a bit of a fantasy about women, which allows them to write with pity and consideration, but women writers don't even have fantasies toward the natural of woman, so their misogyny is more complete. In the conversation between Mariko Hayashi and Ueno Chizuko, Hayashi describes everything she has, her husband, her children, her fame, her cloth as “accessories” she has to wear to cosplay a woman in the female category. Because she doesn't think she's a woman, so she must lose weight and get her teeth straightened to make herself more like a woman in the female category. Also, because she is a “fake woman” (women withdraw from the category of “real women” since they think they are not wanted by men), she can mercilessly even excessively expose the “gloomy inside" of the "real women”. Ueno Chizuko said afterward that she believes other "fake women" who also feel unconformable to wear “accessories” can resonate with Hayashi. To me, the fact that Hayashi’s books are well sold in Japan, and popularly read by female readers to the extent that many of her book are rearranged into movies and series further proves that the extent to which misogyny has spread. By making fun of the unhappiness these “real women” suffer because they're real, the “fake women” are consoled.

5. The Entrenchment of Misogyny

But why do women submit to this set of boundaries based on male desire? One can sense from the description in the last paragraph that rather than men classifying women, it's more about women classifying themselves after they become aware of where are their femaleness level ranked among all women. The process of self-classification is certainty the result of social pressure, but the influences from society are not the most influential factor that leads a woman to classify herself. Since the oppression from the society can be recognized by women only when their cognitive function is mature enough to let them to do so, repulsive limitations and oppressions granted by society will lead women to fight against but not complying to. In another word, the pressures from society cannot easily lead to the change of women’s perception of themselves since they’ve already formed the ideology that women and men are equal before they are capable of recognizing dispositions against women from society. Further, if this premise is true, then misogyny and discrimination should not exist at all, since women will try to suppress their desire of discriminating against others of their same sex. As this been said, what is most likely to be the factor that influence the formation of misogyny in women? What is the most decisive factor in influencing what ideology children will form? Yes, the answer is family, the most significant factors that influenced the formation of misogyny is from family.

6. Misogyny in Mothers-daughter Relationship

Misogyny is inherited from mother to daughter. The mother instilled a sense of self-loathing in her daughter by disgusting her daughter's “femininity". Ueno established in her book misogyny that when the daughter told her mom that she is in menarche, the mother’s attitude is usually cagey. (Ueno, 2010, p. 121) She will tell her daughter to clean up herself and to put her sanitary goods in a place that can't be seen by her father and brothers. These words will let daughters harbor a sense of shame instead of feeling happy toward their change. At the same time, daughters realize that their mother, whom they see as the absolute supremacy, is controlled by a stronger, more powerful ruler which are their father or brothers. The mother's dissatisfaction has become a shackle to control the daughter. Some daughters marry early to get rid of this situation, and some daughters know that the consequence of relying on a man is to become alike to their mom, so they choose to save themselves through career. The former will becomes the unhappy “fake women” who wear “accessories” as their mom does, while the latter will become privileged women who are regarded by men as "honorary men”. (Ueno, 2010, p. 197) Unlike mothers before modern times, modern mothers sacrifice more for their children. Before modern times, mothers simply gave birth to their children, and the children would grow up by themselves. At that time, there was no such thing as family education. The children of noble families were naturally taught by teachers, while the children of ordinary families were allowed to grow wild. Modern mothers have a great deal of responsibility to bear. Women must choose between working or having children. Mothers who choose the latter rely on children to compensate for what they give up for giving birth to children. What mothers ask their sons is simple. The only requirement is to get on in the world, to save their mothers from their despotic fathers, and give absolute obedience to their mothers. Under patriarchy, a mother's greatest triumph is to raise her son to be Oedipal. One old Chinese slang is “Many years of wife makes a mother-in-law.” This means, after being a wife and a mother for many years, the woman’s son will never forget the kindness and effort of his mom, he will live the life the mother asks him to and repay his mother by having success in his career. Daughters are not the same, the daughter will marry sooner or later to become someone else's family member, so don't waste money on investing the daughter. And similarly, there is not many expectations on daughters, which also explain why Asia family prefer boys to girls. But such an idea was from a slightly earlier age. Now the idea is that even though the daughter is married, the mother still expects the daughter to take care of her. In China, a survey is to ask mothers which family members they expect to take care of them when they’re old. The result is their daughters. The same survey installed in Japan; the result changed from their daughters-in-law to their daughters a decade ago. Therefore, many mothers verbally deny but they rely on their daughter in reality. Many mothers feel ashamed by the fact that they have sons but the ones who take care of them are their daughters. The toilsome daughters instead of receiving appreciations, they endure their mothers’ whimper.

Now women have lost the excuse of “she is just a woman, what are you expecting?” And have the possibility of "if you work hard, you can achieve something”. More young women can join the quaternary or even the quinary sector industry to compete with men. This progress cannot be achieved without the support of mothers who have worked in secondary and tertiary sectors. These mothers support their daughters to go to college to receive higher education out of the sense that "girls should also have some skills”. Behind this awareness, we can see the mothers' grasp of reality and despair. Aware of the return on investment, they expect their successful daughters to take on the role of caring for their aging mothers. With the phenomenon of fewer children, daughters become sons with feminine faces. Especially under China's one-child policy, many families have only one daughter. In this case, there will be no gender difference in the education of the children. But daughters are still different from sons. Daughters need to respond to their mothers' double expectations of being both the son and the daughter. They need to be both successful in their career and marriage. In a family with both daughters and sons, the mother is bound to devote more energy and money to the son, which makes the daughter's role more awkward. A daughter must respond to her mother's expectations to be a top student, while not swaying her mother's doting affection toward her son because she outdoes her brother by so much. (Ueno, 2010, p.125) The complexity of the mother-daughter relationship is reflected in the mother's willingness to step in whenever her daughter is on the verge of attaining happiness. This is the mother's jealousy. If the daughter marries an impeccable man, the attitude of the mother will more or less carry with jealousy. The mother will reflect on why their daughter can have a perfect marriage partner while they cannot. The happier her daughter was, the more complex the mother feels, along with the fear that her daughter has taken away by another man. But the relationship between mothers and daughters are way more complex than this. Kazuri Takemula explains in her book About love the relationship between mothers and daughters by using Freud’s theory which suggests that the father-son relationship is that the boy wishes to possess his mother and replace his father, who the child views as a rival for the mother's affections. Takemula’s About Love noted that babies, regardless of gender, are intimately dependent on their mothers. The father's role is to use the fear of castration complex to separate the mother from the son, and girls are not limited by the fear of castration complex since they don’t have the male’s genital, so their love for their mother will not diminish by the fear. But while a son can make his mother and women like his mother the object of his desire through assimilating with his father, a daughter knows that she can neither love her mother nor love an object of the same gender as her mother. As a result, girls experience "loss of love" from birth, much earlier than boys. To ease the pain of losing the loved one, daughters internalize their mothers in their own bodies. This process will not only make daughters become more and more like their mother, but also make daughters develop a melancholy temperament. This melancholy temperament comes from forgetting the object of love. So, the female sex itself is “depressing”. The evidence is that some traits of character considered "feminine" are restrained, such as being demure and subdued. (Ueno, 2010, 129) The difference between the mother-daughter relationship and the father-son relationship is that the hate from daughter to mother is caused by love. Unlike sons, who feel comfortable in hating their father, daughters think hating their mother is shameful and unforgivable. Why is that? For the mothers are the oppressor and the victim. The daughter’s resentment towards her mother manifests itself in self-reproach and self-loathing. The daughter could not forgive herself for hating her mother, because the original love remained in her hate. For a misogynistic daughter, the object of dislike is her mother and herself.

7. Misogyny in Fathers-daughter relationship

Mothers make their daughters aware of their place in the family by doting their sons, showing weakness in front of their husbands, and expressing their disgust for their daughters’ body. Conscious of her position, the daughter began to resent her mother and then to resent herself for her dislike of her mother. Therefore, the daughter’s misogyny must be the embodiment of the hatred toward their mothers. So, what role does the father play in all this? It is the grandmother who exposes misogyny to the mother, but it is the father who aggravates the mother's misogyny. Mothers are an agent of the patriarchy, and daughters learn their fathers’ misogyny through their mothers. Even though the daughter knew that the father was the one to blame, she could not help but hate her mother even more because she was also the one who was persecuted but chose to stand on her father's side as his proxy. In the family where the father and sons persecuted the mother and the daughter hated her, the mother, needless to say, is least important in the family. After watching their father taunt their mother, daughters will feel a sense of despair that she would one day become like her mother. Daughters, however, have different privileges than mothers, they can become "father seducer”, by squeezing in between parents, and thus gain a superior position to the mother. By outcompeting her mother as a rival in the competition for her father's affection, a daughter can despise her mother even more. The daughter allied herself with her father and despised her mother together. Standing in the father's point of view, he is willing to regard his daughter as the "supreme lover.” For fathers, wives are only the outsider who can’t reach agreements with, but daughters are their clone, is the one that shared his genes. There is a Pygmalion love for his own work. Ueno express in her book that when a father holds a suckling daughter in his arms and says, "I will kill the man who takes my daughter's virginity", it makes sense. It does make sense in China as the Lolita complex, which is a sign of the relationship between father and daughter, is taboo in Japan but common in China. In such families, it is hard for a daughter to escape being a "father seducer”. To put it bluntly, it is hard to stand on the united front with mothers. As long as the mother is still the agent of patriarchy, the relationship between the daughter and the mother will not be harmonious; If, on the other hand, the mother tries to be true to her desires, the daughter sees her severely sanctioned by the patriarchal society. To escape the misogyny of the modern patriarchy, women must give up the role of "mother" and "daughter". Because, in the modern patriarchal family, the terms "father," "mother," "son," and "daughter" have been written into misogyny. "Mother" or "daughter" is nothing more than designating a place for a woman in a patriarchal system. "The emancipation of the daughter" and "the emancipation from the role of the daughter" cannot be separated.

8. Conclusion

This paper starts by analyzing the universality of misogyny, which means how far-reaching misogyny is. The fact that not only men are susceptible to misogyny explain why misogyny is hard to get rid of. This article examines the most fundamental way misogyny spread, which is through the influence from parents. This influence factor of parents explain why misogyny is so entrenching, and why misogyny oftentimes be normalized. As an agent of patriarchy, the mother teaches her daughter the "rules of survival" in the patriarchal system, and the daughter who accepts these rules will only detest her mother's cowardice even more. While the daughter sees her mother's life as a counterexample, she also knows that if she wants to break the bondage of her mother, she must use the power of other men. She feels powerless to live a life that can only be committed to others. Can this cycle be surpassed? I think it is difficult. Misogyny, like gender, is not something that can be discarded because we know it is only an obsolete nonmaterial culture product. But the positive thing is that we are changing for the better. The fact that more women can recognize the misogynistic micro aggression happened in workplaces and households can prove that misogyny is challengeable.